Bloggrrl’s Review: The Ubiquitous 4-Hour Work Week June 22, 2007

I confess. I bought a best-selling book in the “self-help” genre, which is something that I try to never, ever do, because I prefer to just remain fucked up since it’s more entertaining. Still, the idea of working 4 hour weeks and “outsourcing my life” was very appealing, especially since I have anxiety attacks on planes. Perhaps, I thought, I can hire someone in India to fly for me! Then I can enjoy the Carribean coast without that annoying Xanax hangover.

However, after reading only 50 pages, it soon became clear that I was not easily going to be able to “spend 10 hours a week in the office without getting a pink slip”. I flexed my creativity muscles, and thought about it really, really hard, and I finally came up with what I thought was a workable plan.

First of all, as advised, I immediately acted upon my new dream of having a personal assistant in India for 5 bucks an hour. Actually, that probably wasn’t necessary, since I live in the third world portion of the United States, but that’s what Mr. Ferriss said to do. It was difficult to communicate to Ms. Bhoogla exactly how she would teach my class of behaviorally-challenged students, but I gave it my best shot.

Here is the email transcript:

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From: Michelle Cepeda
To: Bina Bhoogla
Subject: Teaching Job
Date: Thurs, 21 Jun 2007 18:59:18 -0600

Hello!

Thank you for responding to my ad for a substitute teacher. You sound very professional! When can you start?

———————————————–

From: Bina Bhoogla
To: Michelle Cepeda
Subject: Re: Teaching Job
Date: Thurs, 21 Jun 2007 19:10:13 -0600

Dear Miss Cepeda,

I am honored to be given this opportunity. What is it, exactly, that you like me to do?

At Your Service,

Bina Bhoogla

———————————————–

From: Michelle Cepeda
To: Bina Boogla
Subject: Re: Re: Teaching Job
Date: Thurs, 21 Jun 2007 21:15:17 -0600

Hi Bina,

I would like you to teach my class for approximately 20 hours each week. It is pretty simple, actually. The students sit in their cubicles and do their work quietly. Well, that is what they are supposed to do. Sometimes they don’t want to do the work. If they throw it on the floor it needs to be picked up. They need to be woken when they fall asleep, and if they curse at you, you will need to write a referral and give it to the principal. Oh, and make sure that they don’t smoke pot when they go to the restroom.

~Michelle

———————————————–

From: Bina Bhoogla
To: Michelle Cepeda
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Teaching Job
Date: Friday, 22 Jun 2007 18:15:17 -0600

Dear Miss Cepeda,

I will be more than happy to assist you with the work you describe. Work to give to your students will be in your inbox promptly at 7:00. While we at International Network want to meet your every need, I am afraid I will not be able to pick up the paper and the other things you mentioned, as all of our work is performed on-site in New Delhi.

Sincerely,

Bina Bhoogla

———————————————–

From: Michelle Cepeda
To: Bina Bhoogla
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Teaching Job
Date: Friday, 22 Jun 2007 19:10:13 -0600

Dear Ms. Bhoogla,

I don’t understand what you mean when you say that you do all of your work “on-site”. Mr. Ferriss promised that I would be able to outsource my work to your company, and you will be “on-site”, it just won’t be able to be in New Delhi. The referrals have to be written and the student removed from the room before he escalates his behavior and throws something at you or maybe pees on the wall.

~Michelle Cepeda

———————————————–

From: Bina Bhoogla
To: Michelle Cepeda
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Teaching Job
Date: Friday, 22 Jun 2007 20:12:18 -0600

Dear Miss Cepeda,

I am sorry, perhaps I have not made myself easy to understand. When I say that we do our work on-site, I mean that I must to stay at my desk here at International Network. What is a referral? Perhaps it is possible that I can do this paper here and fax to your boss promptly. What does “escalating behavior” mean? I have consternation. I also am not understanding the word pee. Please be more clear in your communication so that I can help you more effectively.

At Your Service,

Bina Bhoogla

———————————————–

From: Michelle Cepeda
To: Bina Bhoogla
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Teaching Job
Date: Friday, 22 Jun 2007 21:25:10 -0600

Dear Ms. Bhoogla,

Perhaps you are the one who is not communicating effectively. I was promised that I could get out of this hell and that you would do my work for me at a cheaper price so I could pocket the difference and travel! Don’t you understand??? We have a GLOBAL ECONOMY, and I am trying to help you!!

You’re Obviously NOT At My Service,

~Michelle Cepeda

P.S. The word “pee” means to urinate.

———————————————–

From: Bina Bhoogla
To: Michelle Cepeda
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Teaching Job
Date: Friday, 22 Jun 2007 23:19:13 -0600

Dear Miss Cepeda,

I am afraid I am not able to help you. I cannot understand very much of what you are saying. Perhaps it is the difference between our two languages. I thought you were to say that your students perhaps would urinate on the wall!

Please keep International Network in mind for your future business needs.

Most Sincerely,

Bina Bhoola

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So now my dreams of handing over my lesson plans to this lovely New Delhi woman and going to the beach Monday-Thursday have been flushed away like a used condom.

Actually, the book has some pretty good things to say. I just haven’t read them yet. I’ll get back with you once I finish it.

Disclaimer: No one in India named Bina or otherwise was harassed for the purpose of this post. It all came out of my sick, sick head.