I work with Mr. Sir. Mr. Sir is vastly more difficult to behaviorally “manage” than all of the students put together. Friday, when Mr. Sir found out that I was going to be doing some after-school tutoring, he told me a story about his days on the oil fields, concluding with, “…and those hands what did extra for the boss, we called ’suckasses’”.
We were in an in-service at the time, and Mr. Sir had been telling his little story under his breath.
“So what are you trying to say there, Mr. Sir?” I said a bit too loudly. “Are you saying that that people who work harder are suckasses?”
I gave him my best cheesy grin. The other folks in the room glanced over, smiled, and chuckled. Mr. Sir and I have been at it ever since I accepted this position last year.
So what do you do when you work with those, um, difficult people? Here is a short list.
1. Maintain your sense of humor at all times.
I can honestly say that I get a kick out of yanking Mr. Sir’s chain. He started it, but that no longer matters. He now tries to get me back on a continual basis, but it never works because I think most things are funny and he doesn’t think anything is funny. Believe me, I have the upper hand here. Of course this aggravates him even more, because he can’t figure out why. But what’s he gonna do?
2. Focus on the positive.
Last year, one of the teacher’s aides became very angry at me. She was so mad that she was screaming, “I don’t care if you do have a Ph.D., I don’t have to do a damn thing that you say!”
Immediately after hearing the word “Ph.D.”, every word she said sounded like the teacher in the Charlie Brown specials…”Wa waa, wa waa wa waa…”
Cool! She thinks I have a Ph.D.! I got the props without doing the work!
3. Lift some weights. and
4. Be creative.
Another strong personality we have at my school did not want the extra responsibility of working with a student known to have caused bodily injury to prior teachers. The student was fresh out of Texas Youth Corrections, and annoyingly, his probation officer was insisting that he come to school. This teacher, who has a military background, suggested that I do that bit of extra duty. I, being reasonable, didn’t want to.
So I put my elbow on the table and challenged her to a bit of arm wrestling. I proposed that the loser get to spend the time alone in the room tutoring the student. She, being as cocky as me, took me up on it. Now, I didn’t think for a second that I would win. I am no match for military training in arm wrestling. I just wasn’t going to go down without a fight. With my principal’s encouragement, we went for it. And I won! Now when I go to the gym, I am inspired to lift extra weights, because it wasn’t easy, and she is just waiting for a chance to get me good.
I do have to admit that this may have been a bad idea, though, since it is really the winner who would have had a better chance of defending themselves against an angry student if it came down to brass tacks. Fortunately, no one thought of that.
5. Be silly.
Ironically, this is the most serious suggestion that I have to offer. I work in an environment that has a very difficult time with employee retention, and that attracts people who have, shall we say, intense, personalities. And yeah, I’m one of them. The only way I have found to deal with this is by being a goof. You can “kill ‘em with kindness” all day, and I do, but when push comes to shove, silliness works every time. Walking around with a fake roach taped to the bodice of your shirt will take your coworkers’ minds off of their problems immediately, guaranteed.
You may be thinking, but what if I don’t work in an environment that encourages creativity and humor?
I am so sorry…
These are some good pointers. I’ve had to work with someone quite similar from the sounds of it and, while the second point is not always easy, these suggestions will help you cope with the otherwise impossible urge to hand someone their own face
Haha, that’s very true.
Sometimes you suddenly just have accomplishment that you haven’t achieved when other people said that you’ve done it.
Ah, good times.
If my boss cracked a smile it would cause a rip in the time-space continuim and California would fall into the ocean. Luckily I ignore him 9/10 of the time.
Thanks for the interesting read as always. I agree that humor will almost always cut through the bullsh*t and make people easier to deal with.
what if I don’t work in an environment that encourages creativity and humor?
Then you have the wrong job.
I’m glad I found you, we have SO MUCH in common..
I too, think that silliness is the way to go most of the time. Granted, it’s inappropriate at funerals (but you can be silly at MINE.. please!) and senate judiciary hearings (I’m still on probation for the whipped cream incident), but most of the time it lightens the mood and people tend to like you more when you’re silly, unless they’re hardened oil field workers, in which case they probably like you but will just never admit it.
Oh, and I have a PHD just like yours!
Then you must work with me. Let’s go out to lunch sometime!
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I find that this kind of person tends to be common in education. I can’t tell you about how common they are in other fields. I think it’s such a tragedy that these kinds of people are out there teaching our children.
I was talking with some of my former students the other day and they told me that I am cool because I am so different from other teachers. That’s my goal. I generally don’t like hanging out with teachers. They tend to be too negative.
Some good advice. I think a lot of my coworkers come under this heading. Difficult to deal with.
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I think your posts are really well written and this one I really enjoyed: practical, witty and true.
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