Do You Make Decisions Based on Emotion? February 28, 2008

Photo by Happy Dave

I’ve been told that making decisions is best done when one is in a rational state of mind. Strangely, I responded to this piece of advice with this thought–”Wow, that’s an interesting way to look at it!” Looking back, I realize that many of my decisions have been based on pure emotion. I use up my logic quota figuring out
which brand of milk will save me the most money, I suppose.

How do you know if you are making decisions based on reason or emotion? Well, try asking yourself these questions:

Do you decide to work at Company B instead of Company A because their lobby is really cool and the receptionist is hot?

After seeing a house that reminds you of your old childhood home, do you decide it is “meant to be” and immediately make an offer? Without checking for termites?

Do you decide to date someone based on the fact that you both grew up in homes that were painted green? It is clearly meant to be!

Have you ever quit a job because your boss didn’t say hello to you one morning and you decided that she didn’t like you, and that you were probably going to get fired because of that, so you might as well beat her to the punch?

Have you ever bought a car because the color was cool, it was the last one like it on the lot and you were hoping the salesperson would ask you out?

These are extreme examples, but I can guarantee you that someone has made a decision in each of these scenarios. Probably even the mutual green houses one.

My most recent example of emotional decision making is making an offer on a house here in Nowhere, Texas. As some of you know, Nowhere, Texas is not my favorite location in the world. Still, I have a decent job, and some valid reasons for being here. At any rate, upon seeing the house, I immediately slipped into (a very emotional) fantasyland.

The Thought: “After I get this house,” I’ll have parties and we can watch the fireworks from the porch.”

Reality Check: Fireworks happen twice a year. It will be a very small party, because I have about two friends here.

The Thought: “This house has been redone by someone who is also from Austin. It is the only house like this in all of Nowhere, Texas. It is meant to be.”

Reality Check: I think the house looks cool because it looks like a house in Austin. I like Austin. Nowhere, Texas is NOT Austin.

The Thought: “Having a house here will help me integrate more fully into the community. I will have a greater investment in making contacts here.”

Reality Check: This will be true if I am willing to undergo a complete personality transplant. I will have to attend a Baptist church, wear designer clothes and behave hypocritically at least 90 percent of the time if I want to fit in. Alternatively, I could go to work at the chicken plant. The people who work there are pretty down to earth.

This is nothing new in my life. If I buy the house, I will look at it as an investment, much like I now view men–with detachment, which is not nearly as fun as emotionally immersing myself in relationships because someone has a sexy curl to their lip.

So…emotions are fun, but result in drama and bad choices. Logic is not fun, and results in boredom and good solid choices. Is there some sort of happy medium here?

Sorry for the rambling, but I think I have just done my therapy for the week. I don’t watch Oprah, so I have to figure these things out for myself.

How to Make Teenagers Hate You February 25, 2008

Photo by N!(K — loveforphotography –

My students have no problem telling me who they hate. These people are usually adults, often in a position of power. Why the animosity? Here’s what I’ve figured out, based on the commentary. If you would like to join the list, follow the steps listed below.

1. Tell them that they need to have a better attitude. After all, you always have a great attitude, and never ever complain, right?

2. Emphasize that you understand them, because you were young once too. Be sure and tell them they’ll “get over it”, when they confide in your about a problem. Completely ignore that things were indeed different when you were in high school.

3. Tell them what to do. Don’t offer any choices. Even if you have to have the lawn mowed on Saturday, don’t let them decide if they’ll complete the job at 6 am or 9 am.

4. Tell them they’re too young to have a girlfriend or boyfriend. Alternatively, you could ask them how their “little” boyfriend is doing, or if they have one yet. Speculating on who would make a good girlfriend or boyfriend also is good.

5. Act like you know everything. Forget that teenagers do have some acquired knowledge, and that they, like other people, like to be acknowledged for their intelligence. For good measure, say, “At your age, I thought I knew everything too.”

6. Tell them, “You have to earn my respect”. This teaches this lesson that human beings, on the whole, are not worthy of respect unless they do something for you. Since respect is very important to teens, this will help you reach your goal immediately.

7. Make sure that they know they are untrustworthy. They’re teens, so they’re bound to screw up, right? Make sure they know this by not giving them any responsibility for anything that counts. Assume, out loud, that any time a crime happens in your town, it must have been “one of those crazy teens”.

There you go. If you want teenagers to run away screaming when they see you coming, you know what to do! If you are a teacher and are doing these things, this is my public plea to please quit.

Get Up Out My Grill February 25, 2008

Okay folks, this is the one and only time you will ever, ever hear me rapping about
Mexican chicken. I have a feeling this is a once in a lifetime thing, you know? My son was recruited, because he’s cool like that. Check out my video here and be sure to vote for it if you like it because $1500 would be a nice addition to my house project, right?

This was so fun to make, even if my camera skills aren’t all that great. I’m working on it.